Now and Forever
by icesong180
Summary: Reyna's thoughts on Jason and Piper's relationship. What is it like to be rejected?


**I don't own PJO! All rights go to Rick Riordan.**

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She doesn't know what to say, as she watches them laugh together. They are inseparable. She wishes she could be in her place.

She wishes he would stare at _her_ like that, as if she was all that mattered.

She wishes he would listen to _her_ like that, as if all other sounds were immediately disregarded when she spoke.

She wishes he would become jealous for _her_ like that, when another boy even looked at her.

She wishes that Juno hadn't taken him and put him in the _other_ camp with the Greeks.

And then he went and met the _other _girl. And fell in love.

She can't help but think how cruel Aphrodite is.

As she shifts in her spot in the trees, she can make out the couple holding hands. It only hurts more.

She knows it would be better if she just left.

She knows it would hurt less if she just ignored him. But she can't.

He's her weakness. She is attracted to him like a bee to a flower. She cannot stay away. Even though the pain is killing her.

She doesn't think he notices. He never did. Before he became praetor, he looked up to her. Then he respected her. Now, he doesn't even remember her.

She wishes he'd leave the girl. Drop _her_ hand and walk away. Walk into Reyna's arms and beg for her to take him back. But he doesn't. That only happens in fairytales. She wishes her life was a fairytale. Perhaps she would get a happy ending.

She allows herself to dream for a while. Then she snaps back to reality.

Where the love of her life doesn't care about her.

Where she must take the burden of praetorship by herself.

Where people show her sympathy, because she is all alone. But Reyna does not want their _sympathy_. She is the daughter of Bellona, the Roman goddess of war. And she will not crumble and waver in her duty because of _him_.

Reyna wants to hate the girl. _Piper_, she is called. But she cannot. This Piper, who walked into his life and made him so happy, she cannot hate her. No matter how much it hurts, she holds it in.

Reyna wishes she had a friend. A true friend, who wouldn't leave her. Who would always be on her side, and support her. Like Jason had been, before he left. But she hadn't wanted_ his_ friendship, she had wanted his love.

So many people Reyna knows, yet they are all so different from her, they do not understand her. Even her sister.

Reyna looks back at them, the couple, Jason and Piper. She wants someone who will love her like Jason loves Piper. Or Percy loves Annabeth. She remembers how he rejected her, for Annabeth.

She wants someone who would do that for her.

But she is a daughter of a war goddess. She knows nothing about love. She only knows that she is madly, desperately in love with Jason Grace.

Reyna wants to know what she is doing wrong. She wants to know what Jason wants from her. Reyna sighs. She wishes love was simple.

She is sick of crying herself to sleep at night. She is sick of having to despair over Jason. But she cannot stop. So her emotions are bottled up inside her, and she knows they will soon explode. She knows she will embarrass herself in front of everyone, all because of him.

She hates him. But he's so...perfect. So Roman. So right for her.

She loves his sandy blond hair, and how it waves in the wind. She remembers that night when he was so frustrated, and she was the only one who saw. She was the only one he trusted to show his feelings to. He had been upset because he didn't know his life before camp. He didn't know his family. Reyna remembered running her hands through his hair, comforting him while he cried on her shoulder.

She loves his wonderful attitude, which lights up every room he enters. She remembers how he could always make her feel better, simply by saying hello. She remembers how he was always so cheerful, and how it was nearly impossible to be upset around him. She has seen his sense of humor in action, cheering up even the most depressed person.

She loves his dazzling smile, and how it takes her breath away. She remembers the first time she saw that smile, the moment she decided she loved him. But most of all she remembers how it faded when she confessed. When she told him her feelings, when she needed him most, he had let her down.

Reyna can't help it, she gasps as she sees Jason bring his lips to Piper's. Tears come to her eyes.

And she does something she hasn't done since she was a child. She runs.

Reyna's feet cover the distance to her cabin in a matter of minutes.

As she collapses on her bed, sobbing, she can't help but think how much she wishes Jason was there to comfort her.

Reyna cries herself to sleep, and even then she has not escaped from the love of her life. He haunts her dreams, and when she comes back to reality, he is not there. As Reyna's tears begin to flow once more, she wishes she could escape. But she can't. And she must endure the pain of seeing him with another.

She is his victim, now and forever.


End file.
